If you're like me (and I know I am), you've seen and read a few too many mysteries in your time. And you know that any wealthy family crisis can be traced back to a disgruntled butler or a raging recovering alcoholic who happens to nanny the children. One day, pilfering the silver candlesticks just isn't enough any more, and the next thing you know, you've got blood all over that nice Persian rug the French diplomat gave to the family 300 years ago. Family history and day ruined in one fell swoop.
Sure, there's the undeniable appeal of wait staff. Who really pours their own martinis these days? Cavemen, that's who. And no, that's not a pathetic Geico joke. Especially when you're commanding a sizable estate, servants, maids, cooks, and deliciously oiled pool boys can really enhance life. But when you've got so many strangers in your house on a regular basis, and you can't account for each of them at every second, you've got the makings of a disaster on your hands. The only trustworthy butler ever seen was...
Exactly. No such thing. And it is with these scientific facts that I urge you to refrain from employing more than one absolutely trustworthy person in your household. A great exercise to determine loyalty is demand that they endure physical pain on your behalf during the interview. If you're ever taken prisoner on account of your fortune, it would be comforting to at least know that your butler's fingers would be broken before your own.
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