On Summer Homes

With the rise of North American temperatures so (seemingly) follows the budget of every above "financially average" family. I suppose if I blew my nose with $20 bills I would assume that a seasonal change necessitated and justified a hefty real estate investment, too.

However. This is not the case, and one shared house is more than plenty for anyone, excepting those who carry highly infectious diseases or produce reeking things from the kitchen (i.e; hand-dyed boiled socks or burnt anything). Wretched cooks and sicklings deserve solitude.

A beach or summer house is the enemy of an efficient (and savvy) spender. Why 300 square feet should ever cost more than a gallon of milk is beyond me. And it should be beyond you: an unsolvable mystery. An entire house devoted to relaxation, escaped responsibilities cough cough children cough cough and lazy afternoons drinking and baking in UV rays is ridiculously silly. Devote one room in your house to this and you've just saved a fortune. And don't worry about forcing little Denny out of the second bedroom to sleep on the kitchen floor (he'll only complain about those charming little mice anyway). I guarantee you've already got a room perfect for this: your bathroom. Sure, other people "need" to use it, but your sanity is at stake here. Don't risk it.

A sunny yet serene bathroom is best achieved in soft tones, forgiving lighting, liquor hidden in shampoo bottles, and cleanliness. Treat yourself every day instead of one week each July and you'll never have to worry about sand in the carpets or a drunk pool boy drowning the family dog ever again.